Shadows in the Smoke S1E16 - "Think, and then Speak"

Shadows in the Smoke S1E16 - “Think, and then Speak”

Kim
Shadows in the Smoke is intended for mature audiences, and may contain material that some people find disturbing. Please see the episode description for content warnings, and listen with care.

[Shadows in the Smoke theme]

Kim
Good morning, hunters.

[Soft piano]

Kim
It is a brand new day in London, and a brand new Day Phase. About a week has passed since the last time we checked in on the residents of Hargrave House. Since Mr. Lloyd had his encounter with Mistress Beaumont, Miss Douglas became a unwilling servant of the Lady Thames, and Mr. John and Miss Thanero had a nice dinner that was observed by a sinister presence.

I’m gonna go ahead and take us to… We were laughing off-mic that we have seemingly introduced a brand new phase to the cycle of play, which is called the Breakfast Phase. Uh, and I don’t… [Laughs]

Cassandra
[Laughs] Listen, it’s the most important meal of the day.

Kim
It is! And it’s a nice opportunity to check in with everybody before you all, like, spread to the winds.

So, we are actually full up on Threats. We have three Threats right now. We have the Demon of Kilburn Abbey, which is answered and waiting to be resolved. The Creature of Cremorne Gardens, and the Spider Silk Seamstress. Ordinarily, during the Day Phase, I introduce a brand new Threat, but I can’t right now because you all are at maximum Threats.

Natalia
Oh no…

T.
That’s defense, gang.

Cassandra
Darn it, wow.

Natalia
The strongest defense is a good offense.

Cassandra
[Laughs]

Kim
So instead I’ve prepared something else.

Cassandra
[Laughs incredulously]

T.
Wait, what?

[An ominous, rumbling woosh]

[Birdsong. A fireplace crackles]

Kim
I’d like to take us all to the breakfast table, please. As we are all reading the paper, I have a question for you all. Of these four hunters, who among you do you think is reading The Daily Telegraph, who is reading The Illustrated Police News (the salacious British tabloid), and who is reading the gossip column of the local society pages?

Cassandra
I think I’m reading the gossip column.

Kim
Okay.

Natalia
I think Maesie’s reading the Illustrated Police News.

Kim
Okay.

T.
I’ll take the Telegraph.

Kim
Fantastic.

Natalia
Rabbit has not come down for breakfast yet.

Kim
Yeah. [Laughs]

Cassandra
He’s always last down, so this is fine!

Robert
[Chuckles]

Kim
Miss Douglas with the Illustrated Police News, you catch a headline that says Sailor Drowns at Chelsea Harbor.

[Prokoviev’s Autumnal Sketch, Op. 8]

Kim
Early Tuesday morn, the body of Able Seaman Nathan Fletcher was recovered from the murky waters off Chelsea Harbor, having reportedly stepped straight off the pier and into the Thames “as if in a dream,” according to a dockworker who witnessed the event. “He had this look in his eye – far-off, like he was listenin’ to music,” said one Mr. Smythe. “But there was naught but fog and the lap of water.” Rumors now ripple that Fletcher may have fallen prey to the half-fish horror haunting that stretch of riverbank, the Creature of Cremorne Gardens. Scotland Yard blames gin and nonsense, but we advise the good citizens near Chelsea to keep their oil lamps burning high and their ears covered tight, lest the fearsome creature lure another innocent soul to their watery grave.

Natalia
Maesie reads this and, in a very inappropriate way, is just, like, dreamy. She’s just like passing the page and she’s like…

Miss Douglas (Natalia)
If I heard him sing again, I too would walk straight into the harbor.

Kim
[Laughs]

Miss Doulgas (Natalia)
So lucky.

Mr. John (T.)
What was that, Miss Douglas?

Miss Douglas (Natalia)
Hmm? Sorry, what?

Mr. John (T.)
You were muttering to yourself.

Miss Douglas (Natalia)
[Sighs] There was a sailor who apparently walked straight into the ocean because he heard Fish Man singing. And believe me, it is beautiful to listen to.

Mr. John (T.)
Now, when I overheard you, I had the sense that you had kind of a dreamy inclination towards that. But that to me sounds like not a good thing.

Miss Douglas (Natalia)
Well, it’s not my fault if he can’t swim! I’m just saying, if I could listen to the Fish Man sing and walk straight into the ocean and find the Fish Man, I would. What is wrong with that?

Mr. John (T.)
You’re what, part fish? You should understand bait better than the next person.

Miss Doulgas (Natalia)
Excuse you! Excuse you, I am not part-fish. Not that there is anything wrong with that, but I’d really appreciate it if you were accurate in your descriptions.

Mr. John (T.)
You turn into a seal, don’t ya?

Miss Douglas (Natalia)
I turn into a seal. In what world is a seal a fish?

Mr. John (T.)
In what world ain’t a seal a fish?

Miss Douglas (Natalia)
Oh my… lord.

Mr. John (T.)
They go in the water, don’t they?

Miss Douglas (Natalia)
Everything that walks on land is an ass like you?

Mr. John (T.)
No. If it’s got four legs and it looks like a horse? Sure. No, but I’m a two-legged simian.

Miss Douglas (Natalia)
Right. I don't see any difference between that and yourself.

T.
I stand.

Natalia
Maesie also stands. Very much shorter than him, but still so angry.

Mr. John (T.)
I don’t understand what I’ve done to cause offense, and I apologize—

Miss Douglas (Natalia)
You called me a fish! I’m not a fish!

Mr. John (T.)
Sorry. Part-fish person. Girl with fish-like tendencies.

Miss Douglas (Natalia)
That is not inaccurate. But it’s also not accurate. And I just, I feel like sometimes you speak without thinking, and I do not appreciate it.

Mr. John (T.)
It’s a waste of time to think, and then speak. Then you’re wasting whatever breath you had that you could have been speaking – thinking. And your idea’s just gonna get out the same anyway.

Miss Douglas (Natalia)
Oh believe me, I know you never think before you speak. Because all of your breath is wasted on fluff.

Mr. John (T.)
The breath that I’m trying to waste on you right now is a warning that sometimes pretty things are dangerous.

Miss Douglas (Natalia)
[scoff] Well then, I wouldn’t have to worry when I look at you.

T.
Coffee. Sips of coffee. Return to reading.

Kim
Your eyes scan across an obituary in The Daily Telegraph.

[Russel’s The Bells of St Anne de Beaupre]

Kim
It is with solemnity that we report the passing of Brother Elijah, a monk of Kilburn Abbey, who departed this life Sunday night at his own hand, aged twenty-three years. Formerly Elijah Lewis of Whitby, he entered the Abbey at eighteen, where he quickly gained a reputation for uncommon zeal, humility, and an earnest desire for spiritual purity.  

In recent weeks, Brother Elijah had been observed to undergo a period of great personal trial, marked by erratic discourse, uncharacteristic behavior, and signs of inward struggle that those closest to him could neither name nor ease. Though his final days were shadowed by mystery and sorrow, his brethren remember him with compassion and pray that he has found the peace he so ardently sought. A private funeral was held within the Abbey cloister. Kilburn Abbey asks for the continued prayers of the faithful for the repose of his soul.

Mr. John (T.)
And sometimes the things that are dangerous ain’t pretty at all. Stupid boy.

Kim
Miss Thanero. This is when I wish that I had a, like, Julie Andrews from Bridgerton, Lady Whistledown voice just, like, in the can. But I will do my best.

[A Beethoven String Quartet]

Kim
[In her best Lady Whistledown impression] My dearest reader, it is with the greatest pleasure– and more than a little astonishment– that I pen this week’s column, for the most singular event of the Season did not occur in Belgravia's glittering ballrooms, nor amidst the perfumed promenades of Vauxhall Gardens, but rather at the verdant and most genteel country seat of none other than Mrs. Theodora Brathwaite. 

Yes, that Mrs. Brathwaite. The sparkling sapphire of society, hostess beyond compare, and a woman possessed of both spine and sparkle in equal measure. Though her jewels could ransom a prince, and her carriages cause traffic along Savile Row, it is not her finery that has tongues wagging this week– but her heart. 

In an act of charity so bold and benevolent it left even the Countess of Derby temporarily speechless (a rare phenomenon, indeed), Mrs. Brathwaite has adopted a child– not of noble lineage, nor of fortune, but of Whitechapel. That soot-streaked quarter east of civilization, where honest souls often go hungry and hopeful ones are few. 

The boy, 12 years of age, was discovered by Mrs. Brathwaite herself during one of her lesser-known philanthropic excursions. “A flame amid the ashes,” she is said to have called him. In a gesture both maternal and monumental, she has taken him into her home– nay, into her family. 

The lad was presented to Society for the first time at a ladies’ tea held last Tuesday upon the marbled terrace of Brathwaite Hall. Amongst cascades of wisteria, delicate cucumber sandwiches, and the finest Darjeeling this side of Bengal, the boy appeared in a suit of blue velvet, his curls brushed to a noble shine, his eyes bright with a mixture of wonder and shy gratitude. Lady Ashcombe declared him “positively angelic.” The Duchess of Wexford whispered that he bore “the makings of a gentleman.” And Viscountess Penmarrow– who, one must note, once likened pauper children to street pigeons– was overheard asking who his tailor might be. 

The child is now to be known as Master Teddy Brathwaite, the newly adopted ward of that most formidable lady. Once of Whitechapel, now of Brathwaite Hall– a transformation only Mrs. Brathwaite could so confidently engineer. And yet, dear reader, this is not the first time Mrs. Brathwaite has performed such a miracle.

Let us not forget Miss Tatiana Brathwaite, now twenty-one– radiant, athletic, and wholly possessed of the Brathwaite poise. Adopted by Theodora some fifteen years prior from a similarly grim corner of London, Miss Tatiana is today considered one of Society’s most eligible heiresses– and its most enigmatic. She was not present at the tea (rumors whisper she is on safari, hunting lions), but her absence did nothing to dim her legend– nor that of her esteemed mother. 

Indeed, what woman dares to shape a dynasty of her own choosing? To pluck her heirs not from the drawing rooms of the titled, but from the soot and shadows of the city, and raise them– not only to civility, but to eminence? Only Theodora Brathwaite. Need we remind you, dear reader, that Mrs. Brathwaite herself began not with needlepoint or debutante dances, but with cannonfire and sea-salt? 

Cast your thoughts back to 1834, when Her Majesty’s Royal Navy celebrated what was deemed a most triumphant capture– the notorious Pirate Queen of Barbuda, a fearsome figure who, at the astonishing age of just sixteen, had eluded capture for years, her cunning and strategy outmatching men twice her age and thrice her privilege. Her name? Theodora Brathwaite. Yet it was not a general nor an admiral who changed her fate– it was our dear Queen Victoria. 

It is said that Princess Alexandrina Victoria, barely fifteen and enchanted by tales of the Pirate Queen's Caribbean exploits, demanded an audience with the First Lord of the Admiralty. What words were spoken behind those heavy oak doors we shall never know, but the result remains: Theodora was freed. And from that moment, she turned her talents not to piracy, but to legitimate enterprise– commanding fleets of merchant vessels rather than brigantines, accumulating wealth with the same precision she once deployed cannonballs. 

And now? She bestows that wealth, with unmistakable intent, upon those she deems worthy. One wonders whether Brathwaite Hall is not merely an estate, but the cradle of a new kind of aristocracy– one forged not by bloodlines, but by brilliance. 

So we raise our cups to Mrs. Brathwaite, a woman who rewrites the rules, rewrites the past– and perhaps, most daringly of all, writes the future.

[Birdsong. A fireplace crackles]

Kim
Printed beneath this column is a small illustration of Mrs. Theodora Brathwaite and the child. The woman bears an unmistakable similarity to the woman that you spied from the grand carriage outside of Clemenza’s. And the boy looks very much like the Dapper Boy from Whitechapel.

Mr. John (T.)
I daresay the resemblance is undeniable.

Miss Thanero (Cassandra)
Well, the article itself is a little flowery. Sounds like she wrote it herself.

Cassandra
And then Ena just, like, throws it on the table.

Mr. John (T.)
The purple prose is not the issue. It’s the boy in blue that I’m worried with. It’s a lot to swallow.

Miss Thanero (Cassandra)
Yes, it is. And your favorite little friend now has a large, large estate behind him.

Mr. John (T.)
Larger than we know, quite possibly. This is the same woman who bought Kilburn Priory.

Miss Thanero (Cassandra)
Yes, and she is the same woman that I saw in the carriage outside of Vittorio Clemenza’s, as well. I think her influence reaches much farther than we originally anticipated.

Mr. John (T.)
Ain’t no secret that money can buy you power. But I’m interested to see how stocked her armaments are.

Miss Thanero (Cassandra)
Well, she was a former pirate, so… Her aims are probably not the most honest.

Mr. John (T.)
Let’s not judge what we’ve done on boats in past lives, carrying us forward. It’s quite possible she is much more sinister than that now.

Miss Thanero (Cassandra)
I would agree. Money and power do tend to do that.

Natalia
Maesie goes out of the kitchen and sort of, like, leans out the door to shout up the stairs, and goes:

Miss Douglas (Natalia)
Rabbit, that lady that you spoke to at that party that one time before we put Vittorio Clemenza into a mannequin, she’s in the paper.

Robert
Rabbit surprises everyone by not coming down the stairs, but rather coming in from the garden, as though he had slept out there the previous night.

Mr. John (T.)
Out digging for carrots in the dawn light, are we?

Mr. Lloyd (Robert)
[grunts] No, just… You know, didn’t quite make it upstairs last night.

Cassandra
I think Ena just gets up and goes over to where the coffee is, pours a cup, and just hands it to him.

Robert
He unblinkingly takes a sip, spits it out, and goes and pours himself a cup of tea.

T.
[Laughs]

Miss Thanero (Cassandra)
Thought it would help. My apologies.

Mr. Lloyd (Robert)
Uh, no. Don’t care much for that muck.

Cassandra
Ena takes the cup and just starts sipping it, not gonna see it go to waste.

Mr. Lloyd (Robert)
So we’ve got, uh, an old friend in a higher place now?

Miss Thanero (Cassandra)
It would seem so.

Mr. John (T.)
I wouldn’t deign to say “friend.”

Mr. Lloyd (Robert)
Well, if we didn’t have so much to look into on our own plates, I would say that that might be something we should look into right away. But, I don’t know about you lot, but, uh, I’ve got a bit of work to do ahead today.

Miss Thanero (Cassandra)
I think, given this woman’s status, she’s not going anywhere. I think we have more pressing matters to attend to.

Mr. John (T.)
I also think that looking into her might be a bit unapproachable for the time being. Besides, I hope you get your rest today cause I’d like to employ you for a little bit of night work tonight, if I may.

T.
And I show Rabbit the obituary.

Mr. Lloyd (Robert)
Ah. I hoped I put a stop to that. But, alright, time for a show and tell.

Robert
Rabbit rolls up one of his sleeves, and you see there a freshly scarred tattoo that is in the shape of a very spiky, spiny alphabet (does not look like English). And he taps it once or twice, and the lines rearrange themselves, and they form the shape of the dead girl that the demon was attached to.

Mr. Lloyd (Robert)
Right, so I, uh, took it upon myself a bit ago to try and stop this thing from getting any further. But, um, seems like I can’t quite contain it myself. I don’t know, not my usual cup of tea, this demon.

Mr. John (T.)
But you drank it down anyway.

Mr. Lloyd (Robert)
If I can’t stop it, I think we need to find some other way that we can. As a group.

Miss Douglas (Natalia)
Is there a demon inside of you right now?

Mr. Lloyd (Robert)
Yeah, there’s a demon inside of me.

Mr. John (T.)
Is it a fish?

Mr. Lloyd (Robert)
Uh, no–

Miss Douglas (Natalia)
I swear to God, John, I will hit you in the face.

Mr. Lloyd (Robert)
I think I do have a fish in here somewhere, though. If it’s still able to use its malevolent powers beyond me, then I think we need a more permanent solution.

Mr. John (T.)
Agreed.

Miss Thanero (Cassandra)
I don’t think it can wait either, because obviously it’s still rampaging about even though it’s supposed to be encased within you, I suppose?

Mr. Lloyd (Robert)
Yeah, usually when things go inside, they don’t come out unless I want them to.

Miss Douglas (Natalia)
Wait, you were in the yard.

Mr. Lloyd (Robert)
Yeah? Yeah.

Natalia
Maesie looks at Rabbit so suspiciously.

Mr. Lloyd (Robert)
The night air was, uh, was helping me sleep last night.

Miss Douglas (Natalia)
Uh-huh.

Mr. Lloyd (Robert)
You know, fresh air and all that.

Mr. John (T.)
Slept out of doors?

Mr. Lloyd (Robert)
I do, yeah.

Mr. John (T.)
Don’t look particularly well rested, despite the cool humors.

Robert
No, and Rabbit actually looks worse than he usually does, like this demon is clearly taking its toll on him. His eyes are shadowed, his cheeks are even more sunken than usual.

Mr. Lloyd (Robert)
Yeah, no, I think the sooner I get this out of me, the better.

Mr. John (T.)
Tonight.

Mr. Lloyd (Robert)
Tonight.

Miss Douglas (Natalia)
Agreed.

Miss Thanero (Cassandra)
I think in the meantime, Rabbit, you’re not to go anywhere on your own, just in case you’ve been going places on your own already.

Mr. Lloyd (Robert)
Not a bad idea. Not a bad idea.

Mr. John (T.)
I can play watchdog.

Miss Thanero (Cassandra)
I think I’ll help.

Miss Douglas (Natalia)
I think I’ll stay as well. Just in case John needs the help of a fish. You never know.

Miss Thanero (Cassandra)
Little Pearl, stop instigating. Take a breath.

Miss Douglas (Natalia)
[whispers] He started it.

Mr. John (T.)
We also have a lot of work to do. I don’t think we can just stick around the house all day.

Miss Thanero (Cassandra)
I think whatever we get up to today, we do it as a group. Just to make sure that Rabbit, or our little demon friend inside of him, does not deviate until we can tend to this business this evening.

Mr. John (T.)
Well, I for one would like to show Miss Douglas here something dangerous lurk in the ocean sometimes. Not everything is friendly. And I have a history at Cremorne Gardens, I used to work there. So I think it’d be interesting to talk to the owner or possibly some of these witnesses. We’ve had at least two attacks now. Ain’t none of us thought to talk to the people who were attacked ourselves. We went treading waist-deep into the shallows instead.

Miss Douglas (Natalia)
You say that like it wasn’t helpful.

Mr. John (T.)
What have we found, a piece of bone with some etchings on it?

Miss Douglas (Natalia)
Yes. What have you found?

Mr. John (T.)
I haven’t been looking at this one.

Miss Douglas (Natalia)
So, ergo, I am the only one who has been helpful thus far. I don’t need your sass.

Mr. Lloyd (Robert)
Cremorne Gardens sounds like a lovely way to spend an afternoon. So, yeah, why don’t we just go there and see what we can see?

Mr. John (T.)
Maybe the fresh air will do you good.

[Bird and fire sounds fade away]

Kim
Alright, so where about in Cremorne Gardens would we like to go today?

T.
Can you remind us, Kim: the first person that was attacked, there was, like, a couple, right?

Kim
Simon Piedmont and Beulah Thrum.

T.
They might live in the area. I would like to ask around, see if I can find where they live.

Cassandra
I think there’s also merit in going to the American Bowling Saloon. I’m personally kind of curious to talk to Thomas Simpson.

T.
Good old Tom.

Kim
Alright, fantastic. So are we splitting the party or are we…?

Robert
I think Rabbit’ll tag along with Miss Thanero and go to the Bowling Saloon.

Natalia
Yeah, I was gonna say I think I might go to Cheyne Walk and ask around there.

T.
That was my plan as well.

Kim
Sounds like we are splitting the party. Let’s begin with my favorite location in the game, the American Bowling Saloon. I must ask, what are we wearing as we are going bowling today? Miss Thanero?

[Birds chirping. Ambient wind.]

Cassandra
Ena, today, is wearing a high-necked, black, collared shirt with a lot of ruffles at the neck and ruffles at the wrist. Over that is an orange-red silk corset and skirt. It looks like, as the light hits it, it’s like dancing flames. The cut of it is incredibly severe. It is very architectural. On that black shirt that she’s wearing, under the corset, you see in tarnished gold thread a weaving pattern of olive branches going up to her left shoulder, where that gold military cord is seated for the day. The skirt falls in really clean, angular panels toward her black boots, which are steel-tipped today. Her hair is in a very tight braid. And, having very recently indulged in her vice, the gold flecks in her eyes are still a little more vibrant than what would be normal to see in someone’s eyes on the street, so she is wearing her gold sunglasses to kind of dampen that effect for passersby.

[Bowling balls striking pins, jaunty piano music]

Kim
Lovely. As the two of you enter the American Bowling Saloon, we hear the thundering crash of bowling balls hitting their mark and pin boys dashing to and fro as they work to set up pins, as families and young couples are playing. We hear the slightly stilted sound of a barrel piano in the corner cranking out a jaunty tune.

I have a Paint the Scene for you all here. This place embraces Americana and the idea of the Wild West, but to an American, it would all seem a little off. How do we know that?

T.
Above each of the bowling lanes, they’re not numbered: they are themed with regions of America. But they’re completely just hodgepodge and mishmashde. Like, one of them is Boston and, yeah, it has the Old North Church, but it also has the Liberty Bell, which is in Philadelphia. There’s the mighty Mississippi, but it has a waterfall over some alligators and a bayou. There’s just like these little pieces of nature that are incongruous with everything that they just kind of slapped paint to be like, yup that’s America.

Robert
The bar at the bowling alley is set up to look like a Western saloon. You know, wooden fixtures, the gentleman there has sleeves up and sleeve garters, ten-gallon hat on. But they serve exclusively Scotch and gin and things you wouldn’t be exactly likely to find in an American saloon.

Cassandra
I’m gonna piggyback off of this and say that the staff that would be taking things out to the lanes, they’re all very clearly from England, but they’re all attempting what they think is an American accent, and it’s some absolutely botched version of, like, American Southern.

Natalia
And across a wall, next to the bowling lanes, there is a beautiful mural of American history and politics and such, including an American flag that doesn’t have quite enough stars for how many states there actually are.

Kim
[Laughs]

Cassandra
Amazing.

T.
Oh, can I–I know I already went, but can I tack onto that one?

Kim
Yeah, of course you can.

T.
In that mural, there is a first Thanksgiving tableau with, like, the pilgrims coming and peacefully being approached by Indigenous people, and everybody exchanging food. It’s, like, over the buffet so they’re, like, handing out corn and turkey and the whole thing, but obviously that is apocryphal.

Kim
[Laughs some more] Yes. So, what are the two of you doing here?

Cassandra
We are going to bowl, just to look a little inconspicuous since Rabbit is Conspicuous right now. The goal is to blend in, but I think in Ena’s mind that creates an opportunity to potentially speak with management.

Kim
Oh, okay.

Cassandra
If they are bowling, if something goes wrong on the lane, or if Ena decides to fake a fit of some kind of not liking something, because this is an approximation of America, we prefer beautiful things, whatever. I think this gives us an opportunity to maybe talk with Thomas Simpson.

Kim
Okay, fantastic. This isn’t, like, super important, like, I’m not gonna make you roll for bowling, but I am interested to know how well either of you bowl.

Robert
Rabbit is not a good bowler, especially today when he is distracted. He is not a good bowler.

Cassandra
Ena is a good bowler. I would assume just by the nature of who she is, where she comes from, the athleticism. She’s also a perfectionist and someone who likes to know everything there is to know about everything. So I would say Ena is probably quite well studied. [chuckles] Even though it seems really random, she’s had a lot of time on her hands to study various things.

Kim
That ancient Greek sport of bowling. [chuckles]

Cassandra
The most ancient and sacred of Greek sports.

T.
I think that’s super funny though, for, like, the woman who inspired the Panolympic Games to be like, every time there’s a new sport, to be like, “Alright, I must master this. Stop everything.”

Cassandra
It seems very logical to me.

T.
Just wait for pickleball.

Kim
We will leave the two of you there as you are enjoying a round of bowling.

[Birdsong. People chatting. Dogs barking.]

Kim
Mr. John and Miss Douglas, you are walking down Cheyne Walk. It is a lovely day here. There’s a man out on the balcony that is painting. He’s got, like, a little easel set up on his small balcony and is just, like, painting the street. And the two of you locate the residence that belongs to one Simon Piedmont.

Mr. John (T.)
So it’s closer to a whale than it is a fish? That’s all you had to say.

Miss Douglas (Natalia)
I simply refuse to talk about this anymore. I really— I’m so tired.

Mr. John (T.)
I’m benefiting in the edification! I appreciate the knowledge.

Miss Douglas (Natalia)
I am not benefiting in whatever this is.

Mr. John (T.)
Well, I just wanted to clear that up before we went talking.

Miss Douglas (Natalia)
And I appreciate you wanting to clear it up.

T.
We knock on the door.

Mr. John (T.)
Follow my lead.

Kim
You knock on the door and it is opened by a young man. He is very fresh-faced and clean-shaven. He smells lightly of lavender.

Simon Piedmont (Kim)
Hello? How might I help the two of you?

Mr. John (T.)
I’m terribly sorry to bother you this afternoon, sir, but there’s—

Simon Piedmont (Kim)
Oh, American!

Mr. John (T.)
Yes, sir?

Simon Piedmont (Kim)
How wonderful!

Mr. John (T.)
[chuckling] Well, glad you think so.

Simon Piedmont (Kim)
How are you enjoying our fair country? I’m sorry, I’ve never met an authentic American before.

Mr. John (T.)
Yeah, they’re hard to find around these parts. Your country is lovely and it’s doing me quite a service in being here to take me in like it has. I thank you for your inquiry.

Simon Piedmont (Kim)
And you, miss, you are American as well?

Miss Douglas (Natalia)
No, very much not. Thank you so much for asking.

Mr. John (T.)
We hate to disturb you, but might you be Simon Piedmont?

Simon Piedmont (Kim)
I am the very same, sir.

Mr. John (T.)
Mr. Piedmont, might we come in? I have a matter to discuss with you that I’d just be as comfortable not sharing out of doors.

Simon Piedmont (Kim)
Yes, of course. Please, come in, the both of you.

[Park sounds fade, replaced by low ambient drone]

Mr. John (T.)
That’s very kind. You see, my ward here was—

Natalia
Maesie, like, makes such a face at that, but said she would follow his lead and so says nothing.

Mr. John (T.)
Adopted, you understand? She was attacked here during our evening constitutional by the strangest creature, seemed to come right out of the ocean. If you’ll forgive the intrusion, I recall reading something that you experienced a similar attack around here.

Simon Piedmont (Kim)
I did, sir.

Mr. John (T.)
I was hoping you might relate the events to us to see if they’re one and the same, or if there’s a whole gang of ruffians terrorizing Cheyne Walk.

Kim
Go ahead and make the Information Move with Presence.

T.
6 and 2 is 8, plus 2 is 10.

Kim
Miss Douglas, while Mr. John is talking to Simon, are you staying here? Are you doing something else?

Natalia
Maesie is not straying far, but definitely wandering a little bit, looking around the room and snooping a moderate degree, just amongst their stuff. [chuckles]

Kim
I think another Information Move with Reason, please. Let me look at your conditions. I am going to put this at disadvantage because you are Hesitant right now.

Natalia
[Rolls dice.] Okay, that’s going to be a… what is this? 6 plus 1 is 7.

[Bowling balls crashing into pins. People talking.]

Kim
Let’s go back to the American Bowling Saloon. We have bowled a couple rounds. A lot of gutterballs from Mr. Lloyd and then I think just, like, straight strikes from Ena. Just one after the other.

Cassandra
Oh yeah, it’s clean.

Kim
Yeah, and in fact, your impressive athleticism is drawing a small crowd behind you, who all, like, lose interest whenever Mr. Lloyd steps up to bowl. But then the minute that Miss Thanero, you, approach the bowling lane, they’re all watching with rapt attention. You see some gentlemen that are, like, taking notes on your form.

Cassandra
Ena looks over her shoulder at these gentlemen, has her sunglasses on. She looks cool as hell right now. And just gives one of these men with, like, a notebook out a quick wink, and then turns back and throws another perfect strike.

Kim
There is a round of applause that breaks out in the Bowling Saloon.

Cassandra
Ena turns back to the crowd, puts her hand on her heart, and gives a very gracious curtsey. [chuckling] And then looks at Rabbit, like, just gives him, like, a little sideways glance, and goes:

Miss Thanero (Cassandra)
You’re up, sport.

Mr. Lloyd (Robert)
It’s not fair. I’m used to playing real skittles, you know. There’s a different number of pins. It’s different— there’s a different layout. It doesn’t work the same as American bowling.

Miss Thanero (Cassandra)
Come along now, Rabbit. Give the people what they want.

Cassandra
And pats him on the back.

Mr. Lloyd (Robert)
Alright.

Robert
Rabbit launches a ball and, you know, manages to knock down one pin.

Cassandra
Ena looks at the crowd and just, like, puts an arm on Rabbit’s shoulder and goes:

Miss Thanero (Cassandra)
Don’t be too harsh with him, he has a cold.

Bowling Patron (Kim)
Likely story, miss. That boy looks skinny enough that he can’t barely hold a ball.

Miss Thanero (Cassandra)
Well, why don’t you make yourself useful and bring him something to eat?

Cassandra
And Ena hands him a couple of coins and shoos him off towards the buffet table to bring Rabbit some food. [giggles]

Kim
[Laughs] Fantastic. As the two of you are bowling, a man in a modest grey suit, with a very well-trimmed mustache and thinning hair, approaches you.

Thomas Simpson (Kim)
I must say, miss, you are a very skilled sportswoman.

Miss Thanero (Cassandra)
Thank you, kind sir. I believe practice makes perfect. And I’ve had a lot of practice.

Thomas Simpson (Kim)
Cremorne Gardens hosts a minor league in the evenings, if you’re interested in competing.

Miss Thanero (Cassandra)
A very interesting offer, sir. Are you in charge of the league?

Thomas Simpson (Kim)
[Chuckles] Not the league itself, miss, though I am in charge of Cremorne Gardens.

Kim
He extends a hand to you.

Thomas Simpson (Kim)
Thomas Simpson. It’s a pleasure, miss.

Cassandra
Ena has a flash of recognition, takes his hand, shakes it very firmly.

Miss Thanero (Cassandra)
Ah, a pleasure to meet you, good sir. We’ve spent quite a bit of time around your fine, fine gardens.

Thomas Simpson (Kim)
It’s the pride of my life, building this place. I mean, I know we’re no Vauxhall Gardens, but our vision for Cremorne Gardens is much more ambitious. Did you know our dancing platform can accommodate up to four thousand people?

Miss Thanero (Cassandra)
I didn’t realize the number was quite so high, but some of our associates have enjoyed a turn or two on the platform.

Thomas Simpson (Kim)
Mr. Thanero, are you also enjoying your time here?

Mr. Lloyd (Robert)
No, uh… [nervous chuckle] Sorry, no, no, no, no, no. Um, Morgan. Morgan Lloyd.

Cassandra
Ena’s eyes get really steely [laughs] at the “mister”.

Mr. Lloyd (Robert)
No, I, I, I, I think it’s a wonderful, uh, wonderful spot you’ve put up here. Great to see people of all sorts mingling and enjoying themselves. Any truth to these, uh, these rumors about the fishman?

Kim
Make a roll with Presence, please. Um, hold on.

Robert
I’m Conspicuous.

Kim
You’re a little too eager in answering this question, and it’s not coming off quite as casual as you wanted it to be.

Robert
[Rolls dice.] So, that would be a 9 plus my presence score of, now, +2: an 11.

[Ambient drone.]

Kim
Let’s go back to the apartment of Simon Piedmont. Mr. John, as you mention a similar attack, Simon Piedmont grows serious, his expression contemplative.

Simon Piedmont (Kim)
Why, yes, I too have had an encounter with such a formidable foe. I don’t suppose the creature that attacked your ward was also a fishlike monstrosity?

Mr. John (T.)
We didn’t get a real good look at it. It was in the dark of twilight.

Natalia
Maesie cuts in from the distance and goes:

Miss Douglas (Natalia)
[fake distress] Oh, he was so fishlike. It was terrifying! So scary!

Mr. John (T.)
Like a seal.

Simon Piedmont (Kim)
Uhh, mine was not quite like a seal, sir, so it’s—

Miss Douglas (Natalia)
No, yeah, that doesn’t sound right, Mr. John. I don’t think, I mean, you weren’t there and so I don’t think you really should butt in to describe the horrors that we two have experienced.

Simon Piedmont (Kim)
I do believe that seals are mammals, sir, not fish.

Mr. John (T.)
First I’m hearing of it. You were saying, sir?

Simon Piedmont (Kim)
There was this large bipedal creature covered in scales and wet, as if it had just crawled out of the river. But when it leapt at my Beulah, I was terrified. But something overtook me, something ancient, something primal. At that moment, I was one with my ancestors, protecting my hut from the beasts in the bog. I had no choice but to fight the creature off, you see.

Mr. John (T.)
You were overwhelmed out of that natural masculine desire to protect your beloved.

Simon Piedmont (Kim)
Oh, quite, yes, yes. And so I did indeed engage the creature and we had quite the bout, let me tell you. But sadly not before it clawed at my Beulah and, I hesitate to admit this, but took something rather precious. I had, just the week before, asked Miss Thrum to marry me.

Mr. John (T.)
Many congratulations. I assume the lady said yes, if you were having a walk together.

Simon Piedmont (Kim)
She did, yes. But after the attack, we noticed that my Beulah’s engagement ring was missing. Perhaps it had been lost or, daresay, taken in the scuffle.

Mr. John (T.)
I don’t know much about nautical creatures, as has been established in this conversation, but seems a little odd to me the idea of a fish thing taking something shiny like that.

Simon Piedmont (Kim)
Doesn’t it? That’s just what I was thinking. But nevertheless, that is what occurred.

Kim
That is a clue for the Creature of Cremorne Gardens: a piece of missing jewelry, that being Miss Beulah Thrum’s engagement ring.

Mr. John (T.)
So you got a good look at it, what about your other senses? Did it have a sort of ancient, fishlike smell?

Simon Piedmont (Kim)
I don’t quite recall a particular smell about the creature. Mostly, I was just overwhelmed with that just deep desire to protect. You know, when that force takes over you, most of the other senses all fly clean out the window.

Mr. John (T.)
Naturally. I just tend to trust my nose in these situations when my eyes fail me. But I’m glad to hear…

T.
And I clap him on the arm.

Mr. John (T.)
Sounds like you got some American blood in you, as well.

Simon Piedmont (Kim)
[chuckling] Well, I do have a second cousin who lives in Pittsburgh. I don’t suppose you know a Theodore?

Mr. John (T.)
A Theodore in Pittsburgh? No, the only fella I know in Pittsburgh is an Andrew.

Miss Douglas (Natalia)
Would you say that you were overcome with this feeling before? Or is it very— I don’t mean to presume that you’ve been attacked before, of course. Hopefully not. But I just was curious.

Mr. John (T.)
Other calls of the drums in your heart rousing you to fierce, warriorlike attitudes.

Simon Piedmont (Kim)
No, although I can’t say I was ever in quite the life or death situation before like I was with my Beulah.

Kim
Miss Douglas, as you are asking Simon this and just kind of scanning along the room, you’re poking through a small collection of papers that are on Mr. Piedmont’s desk. One of which stands out to you because it is a brightly colored flyer for Madame Tussaud’s, the famous wax museum in London. The flyer itself is advertising the debut of a brand new exhibit at Madame Tussaud’s that is set to open soon: it is a Horrors of the Sea waxwork. That is also a clue for the Creature of Cremorne Gardens.

Staring at this flyer that is advertising the horrors of the ocean and the monstrous creatures that are lurking just below the water’s surface, and charging admission so that people may see it, how does all of this make you feel?

Natalia
Maesie picks up this flyer and, like, kind of crunches it in her hand as she feels incredibly, especially with everything else that’s been going on today, like, misunderstood and disregarded and, yeah, angry for not being, like, supported in her existence.

Kim
Take the condition Unsupported.

Natalia
Maesie takes the flyer and walks over to Simon, and sort of holds it out to him and goes:

Miss Douglas (Natalia)
Were you planning on going to this anytime soon?

Simon Piedmont (Kim)
Oh yes, absolutely. I don’t believe it is quite opened yet, but yes, I kept the flyer. Myself and my Beulah woud love to attend. I don’t suppose you’ve been to Madame Tussaud’s? The Chamber of Horrors was fearsome, but, you know, sometimes showing a young lady something quite frightening only makes her grab at you closer, if you get my feeling.

Kim
And he sort of winks at Mr. John.

Mr. John (T.)
And sometimes that can backfire for you, Simon. Take it from an old hand who’s been around the territory before. You wind up searching for horrors, you might find yourself biting off more than you can chew.

Simon Piedmont (Kim)
Perhaps I might wait until my Beulah has more thoroughly recovered.

Miss Douglas (Natalia)
Is she around?

Simon Piedmont (Kim)
She is planning to stop by for tea in just about an hour or so.

Miss Douglas (Natalia)
I would just love to speak with her about, you know, just some more information, I suppose, on her experience and how she felt and what she saw. If that would be alright, if we stuck around?

Simon Piedmont (Kim)
My Beulah would, I’m sure, be delighted to meet you, the both of you, of course.

Mr. John (T.)
Well, perhaps while the ladies have their tea and discuss the incidences that they’ve both faced, you and I can take the air and I can tell you all about life back in the States.

Simon Piedmont (Kim)
Fantastic. It’s a plan.

Kim
And he holds out a hand for you to shake.

T.
I spit in my palm and then I shake his hand.

Kim
[Laughs] Quite. Back to the Bowling Saloon.

[Bowling balls striking pins. People talking.]

Thomas Simpson (Kim)
I assure you, sir, I have never seen anything like the creature about Cremorne Gardens and I’m here all the time. No matter what the Illustrated Police News might say, I believe they are just trying to drum up sales of their paper.

Mr. Lloyd (Robert)
Wouldn’t put it past them. Not exactly the most reliable rag in the world.

Thomas Simpson (Kim)
No, quite not, sir. Not to say that there hasn’t been some issues about the Garden. I would caution both you and your lady here to take care not to wander here too late at night.

Mr. Lloyd (Robert)
Oh, is there something we should be worried about at the night?

Thomas Simpson (Kim)
The Gardens does tend to attract a somewhat less gentile crowd at night, particularly after about 10 PM until quite early into the morning. We’ve been getting much more reports of drunk and disorderly behavior about the Gardens come eveningtime. People acting irrationally. I’m sure it is just men and jolly girls off work that are having a bit too much fun in the Gardens, perhaps. But it is not the sort of thing that the respectable crowd might like to witness.

Kim
That is a clue for Cremorne Gardens: numerous reports of drunk and disorderly behavior.

Mr. Lloyd (Robert)
Thank you for that advice. Well, you know, since you know this place, you own this place, is there somewhere else you recommend we check out while we’re here?

Thomas Simpson (Kim)
If you are interested in stretching your legs, might I recommend the Hedge Maze?

Cassandra
Ena looks at Rabbit and looks back at Mr. Simpson.

Miss Thanero (Cassandra)
What do you think, Rabbit? Care for a little run through the forest?

Mr. Lloyd (Robert)
Yeah, someplace with a bit fewer people might not be the worst idea.

Miss Thanero (Cassandra)
I agree.

Robert
So without really looking or aiming, Rabbit takes his last bowling ball, throws his last frame, another gutterball, and the two of them head off towards the Hedge Maze.

[Shadows in the Smoke theme]

Kim
Shadows in the Smoke is a Kitten Marlowe production. This episode was edited and produced by Kim Dalton, and featured a theme song by Jake Pierle. You can find out more about us by visiting KittenMarlowe.com, signing up for our newsletter, or following us on socials. For Discord access, an exclusive behind-the-scenes show, and more visit Patreon.com/KittenMarlowe and join TheBenHatton and all of our incredible Kitten Marlowe patrons in supporting artist-driven storytelling. Thanks for listening.